Our Terms Of Service...
In Plain English.

As with any website, by using the website, you agree to these terms. Which is often not fair, because you need to use the website to see the terms, but nevertheless, that's the situation we're in.

Also, we expect you to be at least 13-years-old to use our service. If you're younger than 13, and you're savvy enough to be reading this, go ask an adult about it.

1. You're responsible for your Cladwell account.
2. Don't be foolish on the internet.
3. Cladwell isn't responsible for content posted on websites outside of cladwell.com
4. You shouldn't break copyright laws, and we shouldn't either.
5. Just because you use our website, doesn't give you the right to use our logo and photos and stuff.
6. Things change on the internet, get used to that.
7. We can remove functions and sections of our site, and you can cancel your account and stop using the site.
8. There's no guarantee that our website or service will be flawless. Use everything at your own risk.
9. Cladwell isn't going to be held liable for bad stuff that happens to you.
10. If we recommend products to purchase, we aren't going to make a claim that they are perfect (only applies to Roadmap for Men).
11. Look, you gave us your payment information, so we're going to charge you for a subscription. We feel that's fair.
12. Shipping means things will be sent. (only applies to Roadmap for Men)
13. Return policies for recommended items are between you and from where you bought it. (only applies to Roadmap for Men)
14. DON'T BREAK THE LAW.
15. Don't blame us for stuff, especially if you violate this agreement. That would not be cool. Be cool.
16. This is written in English(should be obvious by now), and if translation of this is confusing, we're going to remind you that it's in English, and stay true to that. 
17. Oh my gosh, there's so much legal stuff in this. If we ever need to go to court for anything (unlikely), we'll do it under Ohio law in our own city of Cincinnati. Because, we like it here.

Okay, that was a lot. But, it's actually not everything. If you want to read the whole thing, be our guest.
 

Our Privacy Policy...
is pretty boring.

These things are always so drab. So, let's spice it up a bit. For this section let's pretend like we're in a poorly-written soap opera. We'll play the part of Lucille, the desperate, newlywed/recently-widowed, orphaned debutante and you'll play the part of Trevor, the rich, handsome, bachelor/country club owner who is in a relationship with our half-sister/aunt, Marta.

TREVOR
(with passion in his eyes)
Lucille, why did you collect information about my browser, my language, the referring site, and-
(gasp)
-date and time I visited? 

LUCILLE
(incredulous)
Everyone knows it, Trevor. And you of all people should know that the information collected is not personally identifying. But I have my suspicions that Marta knows.

TREVOR turns in his high-back corinthian leather office chair and gives LUCILLE a smoldering look.

LUCILLE (Cont'd)
(helpless in Trevor's presence)
Fine! I will sometimes release reports about website statistics that are available to the public! 

TREVOR
(obviously shocked, pressing for more)
What about when I'm logged-in? What then, Lucille?

LUCILLE
(sobbing uncontrollably)
Yes yes yes! I do record your IP address!

TREVOR
(saddened)
Oh, that's all? I- I- I was hoping you wanted much more than that.

Music swells. Tight on Lucille.

LUCILLE
Oh Trevor!

Cut to black.

TEXT: To be continued...