The Pep Talk

“Nevertheless, she persisted,” read the sweatshirt I recently purchased for my sister-in-law over Christmas. I'm no stranger to a well-articulated empowerment message. Just look at my collection of coffee mugs. 

In a world where WeWork founder Adam Neumann can raise a cool $350 million in Silicon Valley, after burning through billions of dollars the first time around, it’s no wonder women everywhere could use a freaking pep talk. 

Whether that “pep talk” comes from our inner dialogue or a well-backed group chat, our decisions live and die based on the messages we choose to listen to. As much as I can get behind a simple “You got this!” I’ve come to realize that these messages aren’t the ones that truly empower me to take action when the struggle feels all too real.

At the end of 2020, I wanted to write but couldn’t quite put pen to paper. There weren’t enough inspiring quotes to move me to overcome the internal force that kept me from hitting “publish.”

It's easy to pump myself up with false confidence and mistake it for empowerment. Like a school kid who thinks they can run a mile but wipes out after sprinting the entire first lap, this kind of thinking was elementary. 

If I wanted to write for the long term, I’d have to do more than save some quotes on Instagram and call myself a Bad-Ass Bitch. I needed real preparation, clear motivation, and weekly practice. But most of all, I needed to get quiet enough to hear the only voice that could move me forward, my own. 

The difference? This voice is more grounded than positive. More soft than loud. Still and quiet, it holds just enough space to decide what I believe, before the world peddles opinions. 

The leap from not writing to starting was surprisingly small. I stole the time spent scrolling my Instagram feed and replaced it with regularly jotting down thoughts throughout the day. A few lines here and there would turn into a paragraph saved in the Notes app. Instead of consuming more, I created. Then, I scheduled time in my calendar to write in an inspiring location. Not as a suggestion, but as a meeting. Even if I feel like I have nothing to say — I write. 

Turns out, I didn't need any more empowering messages—most of us don’t. I needed to be empowered. And all it took was finally giving myself permission to write.