How do you know who to work for?

How do you know who will be a good business partner? 

These are the types of questions I get asked by other founders after having watched me experience my own fallout and having a front-row seat to another.

I think the saying goes something like, “Two minds are better than one.” In some ways, I believe it’s true. But now, more than ever, I’m incredibly prudent about going into business with another person. Whether you’re starting something new and looking for a partner or going to work for another leader, it’s important to know how to determine who it is you’re working for.

People tend to know what they “should” do and say in order to look like “a good leader.” Unfortunately, it’s simply impossible to know whether someone has values based on the content of their website or LinkedIn posts. Yes, our words matter; but ultimately, we are what we do.

I’ve been told that if you want to know the heart of a leader, watch how they treat people. But this is where we make naive mistakes. 

Treating other humans “well” is merely the cost of entry. If someone doesn’t do that, it’s pretty obvious they’d make for a pretty terrible partner or boss. But in fact, treating others well only shows you that this person isn’t a complete a-hole. 

“Plays well with others.” Our standards have got to be higher than that, right?

So what’s the trick? 

Determine if they can “fight well.” Watch how they negotiate.

Typically all business engagements begin with a hiring of sorts, a negotiation to determine salary or equity. This is one of the simplest and most effective ways to learn how someone will act in a position of power or negotiate when there are conflicting interests. If you’re past the point of no return and already in a company, it is worth paying attention to how negotiations have played out with other employees. 

Will they protect themselves (a.k.a. “the company”), hold their cards close to the vest, and choose to exercise their power over someone when they have the chance? Or, will they choose to seek understanding from the other side by using power with, as an invitation to share their power?

Not sure what “power over” or “power with” in conflict looks like? Here are the rules of thumb and some subtle signs.

“Power over” =  Being right is more important than doing right.

• Dangling a carrot over someone’s head—making them work even more for something they’ve already proven they deserve.

• Withholding information or only sharing parts of the truth, knowing it gives one party an opportunistic advantage. This could be with promotions, salaries, buyouts, etc… 

• Negotiating with only the “company’s” (code for “people in power”) best interests in mind. 

“Power with”= Doing right is more important than being right.

• Empowering and rewarding someone who has already put in the work. 

• Believing in transparency and sharing all the information with both parties. This could be with promotions, salaries, buyouts, etc. 

• Negotiating with both the company’s and the partner’s best interests in mind. 

If you’re exploring who to work with or whether someone will be a good business partner, watch what they do—not what they say they do. Then, see if those actions align with your values. 

It will tell you everything you need to know.