END GAME

From a young age, I inherently learned to manage my money in a certain way.

Be responsible.

Hold on to what you have. 

Set aside money in your 401k. 

Work now to live well later.  

End game, retirement. 

But something about it always felt off to me. Why start my career with the end of it in mind? Why yearn for a magical time in the future when all would be right?

I watched the very people who taught those ideals reach their time to travel, only to find their health sour or simply unable to abandon the rigid mentality they had spent an entire lifetime building. Scared to take risks or step outside the lines. Saving & waiting had given them a false sense of control of their lives. Well-intended lessons but rooted in fear.  

Something about it didn’t add up. If retirement was the dream, why were ~40% of people in retirement depressed? But wanting a different approach to my finances didn't mean I knew another way. 

Shortly after college, when my husband and I had our own income, I worried if we were putting enough aside, clinging ever so tightly to the little we had. When we made the risky move to start our first business, it seemed like the way out of the rat race. We wanted to stop working for retirement and instead start living to work. But even then, money still had a hold over us.

Our mentality changed for the better, not when the business started, but when it failed. 

We gave our startup all we had and shut it down when we had nothing left. We found ourselves as two broke adults, back at my parents’ house with a dog in tow. One would think losing all our money would have made us hold onto it even tighter the next time around. But when we got back on our feet, quite the opposite happened. 

Our accounts drained, business failed, reputation muddied, and entirely reliant on others to pull us up, I received a strange and unexpected gift – peace.

Freedom came with falling flat on our faces. Losing all of it was somewhat liberating. No longer burdened by the expectations of holding on to what we had, we were finally able to consider what building a life without fear would look like.

There’s a phrase in basketball to describe when a team begins playing timidly, in an attempt to hold on to their lead. It’s called “playing not to lose.” More often than not, it’s the very thing that ends up costing them the game.

Life is all too similar. I’m not advocating for lighting your money on fire. Of course, saving money can be healthy and wise. 

But when we hold on too tight for fear of losing what we have, it comes at a real cost. Sacrificing the very life we’ve been given to live. 

Fast forward years later, I’ve learned to manage my money in a different way. The end game? It’s about playing to win.