I’ll never forget my first internet critic. 

Back in 2009, my blog had only been live for a few weeks and I couldn’t imagine who was even reading it, let alone commenting. But there it was, the notification that “1 comment has been made.” 

Nervous energy filled my entire body. My fingers were damp with the kind of icy sweat that comes with uncertainty. I opened it, and it read… 

“You have a dog face.”

Yep, you read that right. The first comment I ever received on the internet told me I had a dog face. An actual human being took time out of their day to tell me that.

I would like to say I was prepared for it, but is one ever really prepared for criticism? I was mortified, shamed, and in tears. Not only was it my first comment, but it had been sitting there at the bottom of the article for all of my friends and family to see.  

I slammed my computer shut. More than I feared actually having a dog face (dogs are super cute), I was terrified that someone disliked my words SO MUCH, they felt the need to criticize my appearance. The comment affirmed and amplified the familiar, internal voice that frequently taunted, “No one needs your words. There’s already too much noise on the internet. You add nothing unique.” 

Steven Pressfield calls this voice The Resistance. It’s what stops people like me from ever starting and tempts me to stop once I’ve started.  But writing is an expression of my own self with the intent of adding beauty into a complicated, chaotic, messy world. It’s the outlet I continually come home to. 

Now, 13 years later, as a founder of Cladwell, I laugh quietly to myself when I think of that comment. I’ve made peace with the fact that there will always be a resistance in my head and a “dog face” in the comments. And though much has changed since my blogging days, I’m still the one writing my thoughts. I’m still the one reading the responses. It’s my inbox, my DMs you’re sliding into.

I’m the one reading responses like this:

“I would love more outfit inspo, real people sharing how they use the app, capsule wardrobe ideas. Not drama from your founder.”

Woof.

Did I cry? No. Did it sting? Yes. Will I keep writing? Absolutely. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the dog face or drama comments. But I do know that I’m better at living with them. 

Creating and sharing my stories will never be easy. But I believe in the value of it. The connective emails I’ve received, the personal stories I’ve heard—they mean so much to me. So I’m willing to put what I create out there for the world to see.

My one story on the internet may not be changing the world, but it’s changing me. For that, I forge ahead. For that, I’m grateful.

Dog Face